This came in from Silvia, of Phoenix Arizona. It doesn’t really qualify for “Stupid things we do on first dates” but, how about “Crazy things we do because we’re so horny we can’t think straight?”
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about eight months. We have a great sex life and are always trying new and exciting stuff. Last week he bought one of those finger tip vibrators. You know the kind that you slip your finger through. It’s about the size of a walnut and feels really good!
The first time we used it, he put it on his finger and stuck it inside of me. Wow, that really felt crazy good!! It gives you a sensation that you probably have never had before (at least for a woman :)).
Anyway, last night he asked me if I’d like to use it again? I said sure and grabbed it from the night stand. Remembering how great it felt inside of me, I placed it just inside my vagina. He looked at me a bit strangely but didn’t say anything. I was so worked up I just wanted him to please me while this thing was inside.
As he started to pleasure me, he jumped up quickly with a sort of panicked look on his face. I’m thinking…..boy….what the hell are you doing? get back down there! He says, “I think we have a problem! “What are you talking about?”, I said. “I think that thing is way up inside of you. I can barely reach the tip of it with my finger.” “Let me get it for you”, I blurted. I proceeded to practically stick my whole hand up inside of me trying to fish this pleasure toy from the depths of my lady bits! I suddenly started to sweat and felt this overwhelming feeling of anxiety come over me! I could barely feel it. This thing was waaaay up there! I had visions of going to the ER and having to explain this. There was no way I was going to do that.
By boyfriend says, “Maybe if you have an orgasm, it will push it out!” Not sure why but, at the time, it made sense. I figured, hell, couldn’t hurt. He gave me one hell of an earth shattering orgasm! Once I came back down to earth, He put a finger inside of me like a doctor measuring my dialation during labor. He told me it was now even further up there! Once again, panic set in. We needed to get this out and fast!
“Wait a second, I have an idea”, he says. He runs out of the room and comes back with these really long tweezers and a roll of duct tape. He wraps the end of the tweezers with the tape, to cover the sharp ends. He then cleans them thoroughly and tells me he can get it out. At this point, I’ll try just about anything. This thing is still vibrating up a storm inside of me and no longer feels good!
I lay on the bed, raise my legs up and he shines the reading lamp at me. To make a long story short, it didn’t work. I think he was too scared of hurting me. On to plan “C”
He finally sticks his heavily lubed up fingers into me for what seems to be an hour, and after almost getting it a few times, finally gets it out! Whew! What a relief! Needless to say, I was really sore and out of the mood. My poor, sweaty boyfriend, was still horny, so I………. well, I’ll save that for another post. :)
Moral of the story?……Don’t put anything into you that is not either attached to something else, or has a string at the end of it.! :)